One of my biggest worries is that, after finding success, I will become unable to do the thing that made me successful.  I’ve observed this tendency in some of my favorite recording artists who did their best work in their first album.  Luckily I’ve discovered one way of thinking about the situation more clearly.


Imagine you’re a gold-miner who’s just mined a vein of gold.

At 48 I’ve reached (or passed) the age where I know I’m going to die.  No way around it.  Now I have to decide exactly what is the point of my life, given that it’s finite.


I don’t know anything when I’m asleep, and realistically I think death is going to be like that, but with no wake up to put the missing time into context.  That’s hard to fathom.  Neil DeGrass Tyson makes the point that my body will simply become something else, disintegrating to form grass, earth, air, which is quite a nice thought, but it doesn’t really answer some fundamental questions like, “What’s the point of doing anything with my life if I’m just going die and be insensate forever?”

I have a cousin who’s just now setting off into the creative life.  I get the feeling that he’s the kind of person who isn’t going to be put off by anyone or anything.  He’s just got to do it, and that makes me think he’s on the right track.


I can’t really tell him about succeeding at it the way someone like Robert DeNiro has.  My successes have been somewhat more limited.  But if he’s looking for a Robert DeNiro type existence, then there’s something I’d really like to tell him.

Dear Musicfriends,


This week I traveled to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to visit a very dear friend.  You may remember that I composed two pieces for buildings in Milwaukee, the Federal Courthouse in 2015 and the Central Library in 2016.  On this trip I was able to see both buildings in person for the first time!


It was like meeting relatives of whom you've only been told stories.  Both buildings were more beautiful than I imagined.  The best part:  At the Central Library I discovered they had taken my score, copied it 3 times for inclusion in their catalogue in 3 places, BOUND IT, and put the original in their Rare Books room.


This is an incredible honor for me.  It was one of the greatest experiences I've had as a composer.  I feel very intimately connected to Milwaukee and the library now!


Keep on rocking, my Musicfriends!




My favorite story is of an emperor who orders one of his subjects to draw him a rooster.  The emperor waits and waits.  Finally after a year, the emperor can wait no longer, and goes to visit his subject.


The emperor demands the drawing, upon which the subject whips out a piece of paper and, in seconds, completes a perfect rendering of a rooster.  The emperor is furious and demands to know why he had to wait a year.  The subject asks the emperor to follow him.


Summer with the Cole family means bowling.  Last year I got off my butt and learned a little about the game.  This summer at the bowling alley I had a new kind of insight that taught me something else.


I love being able to perform and create.  It’s made my life happier and sadder than it would have been otherwise.  I’ve found it helpful to understand that shape of that life so that I know what I’m going through.


As a performer/creative person I have experienced and/or seen three different stages of being.

I have mastered my craft as a writer.  You might be raising an eyebrow at my arrogance.  You might have several questions, including “Does this mean you think you’re awesome?” and “Do you think you can’t get any better?” 





Is it better to strive to be the person you want to be, or to like the person you are now?  For most of my life I’ve had a vision of the person I could become, the musician I could become, the writer I could become.  I have faced an enormous dissatisfaction with myself as I compared the difference between what I currently was and what I believed I could be.

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